Having a meltdown at work is a sure sign that it is time for me to have another women's empowerment meeting. It drives me crazy that I can effortlessly inspire others to reach for their goals but when it comes to me, I have a meltdown. This is the ironic scenario that has been playing over and over, reminiscent of the movie
Groundhog Day. I mean, why is it that I can have the creativity to create mix media collages, a handbag, a woman's inspirational group or even a blog? Yet, when it comes to creating a tangible version of my ideal life the task morphs into some obscure foreign language that I do not comprehend. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were born with a set of blueprints that detailed exactly what it is we are meant to do? If one more person asks me "What is it you want to do with your life?" I may just break out into a comical song and dance that will land me a starring role in the looney bin.
Since, the age of 15, I have worked every kind of job you can imagine from McDonald's drive thru, numerous administrative jobs, design assistant, showroom assistant, to a Deli, just to name a few. Now, at the tender age of 32, I work in a retail environment and if it weren't for some of my amazing co-workers, there may have been numerous times where I would have driven right past my job until I ran out of gas. That's actually a timely metaphor. Whoever, coined the term 30 is the new 20 just set me back ten years, considering I could not wait to get out of my 20's. Thank you, whoever you are. As, I was under the impression that once I entered my 30's I was sure I would know what it is I was meant to do with my life. I know I'm not the only one going through this. Although, I must admit, putting it all out there does feel good. I know what some of you may be thinking: "With the current economic status I should be grateful to even have a job." Please allow me to respond. It's not that I am not grateful, I am. However, I cannot ignore the fact that my spirit is stifled and all of my creative energies are being consumed by a huge corporate dragon, which I have aptly named StinkEye.
"Oh, StinkEye why do you loathe me so?"